feeling up

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hello every body hope your day going well as mine 😉

I want to share you the feeling of today , I’m feeling great ,great

and I think the negative cloud that was in my head for a period of time has gone and I start to see the rainbow hahaah ( just kidding) 😀

anyway I feel happy for several reasons

first

capture-20131221-184920exciting right! 😉  it’s one of 2013 goals ,will finish the two books as soon as possible..

the last week I have read inspirational book  that made me thinking  how i can use my day well

will tell you I decided to do sport at morning ( for honest it’s the first time I do sport at morning !! yes i go for walk

sometimes but morning sport I want to tell it’s the best :D, and eating healthy food specially the breakfast also i found

nice way to evaluate my activities it’s making a table and at the end of the day  put a mark on the things that I do

  hope to continue  🙂

another thing i done and it was nice

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I made motivational card ……….

I read for a lot of authors who said “write your dreams where you can see it everywhere “

well I thought in making a card where I can take it everywhere , I used an old bank card

and put the picture I want on it then write  my name and my dreams , it looks real 😀 I love it

easily put in in my wallet

cheers 😀

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dance moment with hope

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come on hope let’s dance , let’s be partner and good friend
let’s dance over broken bridges , let’s dance on the sad music
to show that we can do it , we can win whatever was the difficulties

………..

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let’s break the routine , fly to our dreams
let’s scream loudly , wake up positive feelings
to learn the world how light shine within
how we hold on and get strength

………
let’s write our story in the dark , open each close lock
use our abilities on our light thoughts
we born to be something , we live to share happiness
let’s be free cross mind limits
let’s convert imagination into reality
let’s turn negativity into positivity

come on hope let’s do it

To the desperate soul

Little-sad-boy-III

 

to the soul which feels depressed
to the self that feels stress
to the thoughts that seems negative
wake up! and go ahead
wake up! and keep challenging
walk where hope guides
walk where faith lights
walk where you believes
Allah (god) is always besides
keep on going
don’t be nothing
life is fighting
so , don’t lose the challenge

what happened !!!!

WhatIt would be a personal post so i will write what i feel now really!!

what happened ?? I really asked my self what happened to me I feel I lost my spirit and feeling down 😦 I lost my  enthusiasm for the things that interests me for everything I just don’t care about anything ! oh my god I didn’t feel like that before !! I graduated 6 months ago and the the first 3 months i felt freedom and happy I just have fun , but this 2 months I don’t feel well 😦 I’m really depressed I missed studying , yes I have full free time and can do what I want but  feel boring , I see my sisters go to school at morning , I wake up early stay alone  I don’t go on my goals don’t know why this feeling chases me although I determine my goals before and decided to make a schedule to manage my time well but I couldn’t control it  .  as I know myself I’m positive girl and always thinking positively but now I could say that it’s one of my negative feeling ( I haven’t any explanation about that !! maybe due to I live away of my relatives also I don’t contact with my friends I don’t go out a lot I lost them  ;( ………….I’m really confused !! A-B-Testing-Web-Design-1

 

I  like drawing , learn languages many things I planning to do  but now I feel I don’t want to do any thing of this I don’t log in to social websites , can’t write I lost my weight too imagine o_O …you know what I do?? I just thinking , thinking in what ?? in how I can back my spirit my enthusiasm , you may think I’m not normal at all  but that what happened ..

hmmm ..actually being Unemployment is not good at all or let me say being without doing anything not good anyway , I don’t know what will happen at the coming days whether got a job or complete my studying .but i’m not afraid of future  because it’s in the control of Allah ( god) or of being unemployed , because I will work in anything i will create my own business  I hope I could

now I don’t sit empty I just sit with my friend ( book)…I will try to pick up myself and go ahead , I will try to be positive 🙂

hmm I said what in my heart so never-mind  if you don’t find any benefit of my writing anyway

 

 

Emptiness

emptiness

 

The place she sits

The cup she drinks

The pen she writes with

The inbox messages

She feels the inner self

…………..ARE EMPTY

Her words meaningless

Surrounds her coldness

Her spirit hopeless

Lives the loneliness

Her feelings dryness

Her life tasteless

……………Because in her life no one fills

so she live the EMPTINESS

orphan

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how would be that love ? when be shared
how would be that kiss, hugs and sleep
warm,peace,and safe!!
what if I born another one else
what if I have great love surrounds
what if I have parents, brothers and sisters
to just feel the real feelings
to just live the delight of moments
but
don’t feel it because it’s in my dreams
would like to touch it but it makes me cry
I wonder why??
I suffer , hide pains
live with unknown friends
no one hear my screams
because of what? because I’m one of orphans

                                                                                                       …………………………………………..

orphans don’t need us to look them Compassion look for their situation , because they don’t need it anyway , they need only caring that shows their importance in the community . god knows their situation so he make them strong enough . the pity look of some people to them make them angry or hate to see the people because of that you should treat them like any person also it’s better to consolidate them with the public and make them show their effectiveness to feel them they are not alone!! I went with my mom just to see them but the supervisor said they don’t like the people to feel pity for them that’s hurt them more !! yeah that’s right

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when I was watching anne shirley cartoon I cried when she was do( I didn’t let my sis see my tears)  😀 because she is an orphan and she thought she has ugly face with red hair and she suffered when her dad and mom died but I liked the hopeful spirit in her she forced people around to respect her although she was do crazy ideas and funny in the same time I just love it ..she live her life happily like if her parents was alive , actually I decided to help orphans because they really deserve caring !!
yeah it’s just a cartoon but really touched me and it’s the cartoon that I don’t feel I’m old to watch it 🙂

 

Malcolm X

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This book is an autobiography about Malcolm X the struggler man in America for black people rights
First of all I would say that it’s an amazing and well written bio I felt and live it I didn’t believe I finished it ,Because it’s one of the books when finish it you want to read more !
The book talks about Malcolm x’s life and his struggles since he was child till he became struggler man
His life is a series of changes , began of street life and end such a most effective person in America , he changed his vision to himself and respect himself as human being that made him in an important position
I will summarize his bio shortly
His dad killed by white people as said because of his thoughts , his mother suffered a lot in a way to raise her 8 children she find difficult insure eating for them and she get supplies from charity , with the time she faced difficulties and start talk to herself , they thought she got crazy and took her to the Mental health facility, divided the children to working in the houses
He spent his youth as street life working many things , he worked as shoeblack and waiter in the rail also worked in the illegal business like selling drugs and theft ect ( as I think he was clever to create some tricks to disguise police) but finally he fell in the hand of police when he was going to take precious watch from Jewish watch repairer which was stolen . the poice capture him because he was holding a shooter
At prison he got to know someone called Elijah Mohammed by messages via his brother and Elijah explain to him about Islam then he started reading books and register in discussion and lessons, he learnt how to talk to the audience from prison ( actually I liked the way he discuss with educated people that shows his wise. He said one day a person call him and asked , what is the university you are graduated from?? He said the university of books !!
(the books was as savior which picked him from ignorance to makes of him great person has his own philosophy)
When he got out of prison was defend for the black people rights and call for separation from white people he was talking by the name of Elijah Mohammed for 12 years he was hating white people and calling them (white devil ) *he said one day after finishing of his lecture a white girl followed him to the place he was sitting and said what white people can do ?? he said nothing !! then she left with cry , he felt regret when he knew the truth of that later * Elijah Mohammed Betrayed him and shut up him of talking to the media for 90 days through this time Malcolm traveled to Mecca and to the east countries he saw how white people and Muslims deal with him , consider him like one of brothers not like black man as American was do , he met many of countries leaders , he also discovered that what Elijah Mohammed was telling him about Islam was not right, and he knew the right Islam in Mecca, when he went to pilgrimage in macca he saw different people from all over the world with different colors , culture and shapes they are all in one place no one call for Racist all are the same and he thought the problem not in white people but in the evil things that some white people do , so when he back to USA he changed his attitude of white people saying that there are many good white people think like human not Racially and he call black people to wake up of sleeping ,to improve their self ,to changed their vision about them self and call white people to say to their community Renounce racism, he Lectured at universities, at public places in many cities also in Africa and do what he was able to change the people , he exposure to danger and know his enemies around and won’t let him live for long and some threatened to kill him , he was being killed at one of his lecture by shooting ( actually I felt sorry of that but may god reward him the paradise for what he was fighting for )
I write here shortly but the details explain everything and I want say something if you want to read this book don’t take it racially,it’s for white and black Also Don’t treat people depending on their colors, shapes or culture we are different to know each other to exchange thoughts as said “don’t judge the book by its cover”
You better look to morals first , their attitude then you can judge them

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I would put here some of Malcolm x saying :
* in all our needs the proper value and respect for time determines success or failure

*we cannot thinking of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves

* To me, the thing that is worse than death is betrayal. You see, I could conceive death, but I could not conceive betrayal.”

* So early in my life, I had learned that if you want something, you had better make some noise.

* “It”s good to keep wide-open ears and listen to what everybody else has to say, but when you come to make a decision, you have to weigh all of what you”ve heard on its own, and place it where it belongs, and come to a decision for yourself; you”ll never regret it. But if you form the habit of taking what someone else says about a thing without checking it out for yourself, you”ll find that other people will have you hating your friends and loving your enemies.”

* “Children have a lesson adults should learn, to not be ashamed of failing, but to get up and try again. Most of us adults are so afraid, so cautious, so ‘safe,’ and therefore so shrinking and rigid and afraid that it is why so many humans fail. Most middle-aged adults have resigned themselves to failure.”

* I have often reflected upon the new vistas that reading has opened to me. I knew right there in prison that reading had changed forever the course of my life. As I see it today, the ability to read awoke inside me some long dormant craving to be mentally alive.”

* “I am a Muslim, because it’s a religion that teaches you an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. It teaches you to respect everybody, and treat everybody right. But it also teaches you if someone steps on your toe, chop off their foot. And I carry my religious axe with me all the time.”

From this biography I write some points I should take into account
1-don’t be racial about people wheather was their religions , colors, shapes differ of mine and accept them as I accept any brother or sister , it’s better to learn the good things about their culture and let them know mine as well
2-don’t give anyone more than he / she deserves because being cheated of them is not an easy thing if I love them more and people aren’t infallible of mistakes
3- to improve myself as I can don’t waste my time in something makes me down
4- open my eyes on the truth always and say the truth whatever was even if no one believe because will come the day to shine the truth , also don’t walk with the most when they are wrong it’s a shame
5-don’t tell everything not sure of , searching and reading is the best way to get the answer
6- live for an aim and fight to get it

 

 

Rose of 10:30 am

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the last day at that place , was sunny day bodes well , with unbelievable events
life is always full of surprising stuff . gives the gifts at right moment ! times arranges unexpected meeting with people you don’t know much about them , it’s enough to met them once then life can plays with the times so may they back with great things or leave to their way

…………………………

while i was wandering on that place to farewell everything , met by chance that friend
which I got to know her on the stairs one day and had normal conversation !

she asked

it’s your last day here right?
– yes
so are you going now ?
-no i have something to do it then go
ok , May I have your number phone please?
-yes for sure
thanks !!
-you’re welcome

everyone gone on way

the early hours of morning passed as usual but with different taste I know I won’t be again at that place it’s the last day !!

at 10:00 Am finished my work

10:15 went to the coffee shop ordered my favorite drink ,
10:20 talked with some of friends and said good bye to them
10:30 on the door about to leave , suddenly the same friend back from flowers shop

do you want leave ?
-yes I think
just a moment i have something to you ?
– ???
here you are , this rose for you and I wish you good luck
– 😮 not believe !! thank you so much for that I’m really appreciated that’s kind of you
so for now good bye
-good bye

the rose of 10:30 am was unique rose not for shape or smell but for the feeling at that attitude
wasn’t know much about that friend and I think she is very lovely
I kept that rose saved although it leaves dried but when I see it I feel it alive

sunset away of town life

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Attracts me the moment of sunset when it announces to leave, wish i can still watching it every day from window ,rarely can catch this view close and see the shyness of the sky appears in horizon in baht red color , the combine of many colors , the rays around sun circle slowly hides till the sky dressed darkness decorated with stars like diamonds , I would say that lucky who was the sky his roof he could see different status each day he/she could enjoy in each moment of sunrise,sunset,evening while watching moon and brilliant stars
In town life this view hardly seen because of high buildings and neon lights that steal our attention to run behind excitement and entertaining , sometimes it takes us away of enjoying the simple life and the beauty of nature , forgetting that nature can inspires our dead souls refresh our thought through meditation in god creatures .nature is one of happiness reasons too which brings peace of mind and peace in souls .

Dream

I know of word can takes you up
makes you go ahead
no matter how many times you fail
how difficult challenges you faced on your trail
no matter what people say about your dreams

you know!! hope will takes you there

if you want achieve it and take your own path
if you believe it and see it with your eyes
if you have a time, ability and chances
why not!! start from now
where
dreams comes when you start run
and hope that’s makes you go on